Two sides of every story is something that I heard a lot during my childhood when casting judgement on others.

My father and mother were very open to the idea that there must be validation and reason behind the action of others and perhaps the credit for my wide and varied network of friends despite their historic and societal inaccessibility.

Having served in Northern Ireland in the early 00’ I witnessed a somewhat confusing hatred towards my people (I was brought up as a Roman Catholic), of course I mean my inherited religious ‘belonging’ rather than the nationality, although I do have Irish ancestry.

Think about what I just said there all of which is true. I didn’t decide to be Catholic or of mixed migrant decent.

Belonging to something, no matter what belief learned or inherited can bring about much confusion unless addressed continually throughout your life.

When was the last time you challenges what you were taught to be true? Shouldn’t you?

YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST! Unless you allow it to be! 

I was working with a client recently and during the early appointments it was apparent that they were struggling with an inherited frustration, they were misaligned, meaning for the good part of twenty years of their adult life, they had been fighting against everything that didn’t fit within a framework of an inherited ideal of the world.

Torn between their own perception of the world and what they had been taught.

Twenty years of fighting for anyone is exhausting, five minutes in a boxing ring milling is enough to cripple the strongest of people, I only lasted two, twenty years is a whole new level of fighting something that you cannot see or rationalise.

Holding on to what you believe to be true can offer some comfort, I get that, you know where you are going and where you have been, but it is essential that you continually challenge what you are told and perhaps explore for a moment the other side.

Going home to domestic violence doesn’t make sense to most yet many people do it. For better or for worst is another statement I’ve got an issue with but that’s a whole different story!

People aren’t not their behaviour but the by-product of an internal dialog made up of known.

The answer to many a persons challenges is in that sentence. CREATE MORE KNOWNS. What have you got to lose from spending a bit of time on the other side?

During this time of lockdown and uncertainty spend some time reflecting on everything you have been told, or even decided to create. Flip it and see how things would have panned out, and where you would be now!

Don’t like your career? Told you were not good enough in another? Flip it and see where the future leads you, when you give up on those of your past who perhaps influenced your current thoughts.

Unhealthy relationship? Told that you are never be with anyone as good? Challenge it.

Broke? Who said?

Fat and lazy? Why?

Racist & Homophobic? For what benefit?


Now is the time to OWN your outcome. ACT… pandemic or not, you still control much of your future. Bright or bleak you decide, but whatever you do.

Don’t complain in the future for not making the choice to change. You know better!

#step #helpless #dyer #dependence #resort #dependance #dianetics #stint #stinting #est #alibi #justify #condone #apologize #rationalize #explain #apologise #relieve #pardon #exempt