Benjamin Bonetti Therapy Online Coaching

“I’m tired, I didn’t sleep very well, My mind was busy, I couldn’t shut off, I need a holiday’

These are all statements that you would have heard me repeat over the last 20 years and universally a ‘norm’ for most people I’m sure. There is no doubt that adulthood is exhausting. With the responsibilities of work, family, friendships and more, we are expending a lot of energy and are even limiting the amount of rest we can get to replenish it.

It took until my mid-30’s to work out that unless something changed, despite my health and fitness commitments and overall positive mental wellbeing I was headed to an early grave. I was on the verge of burn out and could see it happening before I reached 60, unless I addressed some aspects of my own life that were open for improvement, it didn’t take long to see the improvements when I got started.

If you find yourself repeating key statements regarding your health/wellbeing, avoid the temptation to delay the action. Before you know it you’ll be looking back with the frustration that you didn’t do anything to fix it …that’s the fear element, most do not act until it is too late – don’t be that person!

Here are several thought provoking points that can assist with the redevelopment of your mental-energy-output MEO.

Don’t Be A Victim To Distraction.  

If you’ve invested in my other articles you’ll note that, the ‘art of distraction’ is something that I promote as a tool to allow you to move on from pain / stress / obstacles. In the context of this article and situation, distraction is far from beneficial.

Can’t sleep without the air-conditioning on? Can’t focus without music playing? 


Background noise raises stress levels, making it harder for us to focus and concentrate. When we continually require ourselves to be distracted with something beyond the task at hand, we are distributing our energy to more than required.

[For arguments sake, background noise isn’t solely that received audibly, it could be a cluttered desk, home or an overload to any of the senses]

While it might not be possible to eliminate every aspect of background noise, especially in our loud world of marketing and social media, you can almost always do something to make it quieter.


Be Aware Of Energy Vampires. 

I’m sure you’ve been in a room, walked out of a meeting or seen friends, only to walk away feeling like you’ve had all the energy sucked out of you! Say no more.

We cannot avoid the fact that there will be times we will need 100% of energy investment, but the key is not to continually be in those situations, and when we are, we need to plan for recovery. 

Control is a key factor to consider here. Conscious control over your investment in situations is a good start, effective diary management, deciding prior to the meeting how much you are willing to allocate are just a few things that can be done to level things out.

Remember YOU control YOU.

The more you manage your life and stick to the plan, the more you’ll be able to sustain a lifestyle that supports all aspects of personal growth and eliminates much of the stress linked to burn out.

Burn Those Lists. 

I’m not really one for quotes or positive affirmations, but one metaphorically that can offer some guidance is from the late Bruce Lee. 

‘I have a system of ridding my mind of negative thoughts. I visualize myself writing them down on a piece of paper. Then I imagine myself crumpling up the paper, lighting it on fire, and burning it to a crisp'.

Even the best of us can’t be expected to remember everything and a list offers the advantage not to forget, God knows how many times I’ve been to the supermarket and returned home with everything but what was needed. 

Lists can overwhelm the majority of people unless kept in order, lists on top of lists seems to be a modern trend, writing them just for the sake of it. If you find yourself exhausted because you are trying to remember so many things, then start with just one list and then chunck down to manageable elements, keep to no more than one list daily and just seven things to be done. If something isn’t completed for that day then move it to the next and so on.

The simple act of writing things down saves the need to remember.  

If you insist on keeping all your lists in your head then there is no doubt that you’ll add more and it won’t be long before you’re overwhelmed with lists rather than tasks to complete. 

Burn all those lists today and hit the RESET.


Controlling The Things That You Cannot.

Having joined the military at just sixteen, you could say that I’ve been conditioned to like control. Sadly the World isn’t as black and white and a lot of time and energy can be wasted trying to control people and situations that cannot be controlled, nor would you want to.

With this element you may need a little guidance with but start with working out why you feel the need to control situations what the fear would be if you lost control?

It usually comes down to a ‘loss’ or ‘trauma’, as to a reason why you try to steer the ship in a direction that you believe to be in the best interest for all. Work on a reframing to a rational view of that past situation and validation, if you get stuck then book an appointment and we can address it.

For more information on how to reduce stress and regain control of your life then book a one to one session with me Benjamin Bonetti 

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