Benjamin Bonetti Therapy Online Coaching

Act your age! I’ve been stuck with that statement for years, not really understanding how to act differently between 37 and 38. When you start to chunk down the years there is a clear difference in how we act, not by the age but as a result of the experiences, learning and wisdom from those additional years under our belt.

For a long time I thought that I had my life squared away, everything mapped out and planned, I thought I knew it all and that my life was pretty much on point and there wasn’t much that could be added or that I wanted that I didn’t have. 

My career was going well, there was regular money coming in, quality friends and family, my children were healthy and on a great path educationally. I was all grown up, therefore how possibly could I have grown further?

Sure I could become fitter, healthier, earn more money but that wasn’t growing up, just refining where I was already at.

Looking back I can’t believe, despite how much I knew, how naïve I was, life wasn’t as it seemed and despite all that was good I wasn’t fulfilled, much of what I thought I wanted wasn’t, you could say I was lost within a functional and typical societal cycle.

I wasn’t alone.


As you grow up you begin to understand that life should be taken seriously, that it isn’t a test run, this is it and the sooner you stop taking life for granted the happier in the long term you’ll be. 

Your Mind Grows Too, Not Just Your Body. 

It’s true, you’ll get grey hair or lose it in my case, wrinkles or laughter lines and maybe put on a bit of extra weight around the waistline, but what you’ll gain there is nothing compared to what you will gain within your mind if you consciously work towards owning life – life-by-design rather than by default or inherited. 

When you are young your mind is new, like a blank canvas, but as you grow you get to stretch it and use it in ways you never thought possible. Growing up gives you the chance to expand your thinking, to delve into the weird and the wonderful, and it will encourage you to create your own beliefs, opinions and values and intern increase your life experiences.

Start To See People For Who They Really Are.

We’ve all got friends, right? Some are the ones you have a laugh with, some are those you have deep conversations with, and the others are just mere acquaintances. Some even you thought would be around forever but decided to take a detour.

You’ll also know the ones who are immature, the ones who refuse to grow up. They’ll be the ones who still muck about in restaurants, who think it’s funny to make fun of people in public and who still hang out late at night drinking and playing pranks. 

It’s OK to have fun and I for one love a bit of mischievous humour, but it’s key that it is not how you are defined. By living a purposeful life by design, doing what you love and being surrounded by people who ‘get’ you is where we all should be heading, rather avoiding the past or fulfilling our teenage desires. 

STOP Caring About What Other People Think.

This is a big step up towards growing up and one that will plague us all at one point. Remember at school you’d always want to look cool or hang out with the popular crowd? When you start to grow up, you’ll learn that other people’s opinions of you and what they think don’t matter in the slightest.

There is nothing more liberating than not caring what others think of you, because you’ll focus on your own wants and needs and live to please yourself.

Just remember that’s not an excuse to be selfish – not at all! It’s more the fact that if you are happy within yourself and your own decisions, you’ll be a much nicer person to be around!

I remember during the initial stages of my divorce, how others, some who I considered close friends, were very quick to cast an opinion, yet failed to know much of the fact.

I was concerned about what they thought but as time progressed and I allowed them to see for themselves, they saw beyond the drama and admitted their fault.

It is easy to see truth over fact – don’t get sucked in. 

Become Much More Open Minded & TAKE ACTION!

Remember how you’ve always wanted to write a book or work in an animal sanctuary? As you grow you’ll think of ways of creating those dreams and begin to give yourself permission to just go for it.

Here is the issue…. for many they failed to take the ACTION ACTION ACTION. Simply kicking your feet back and thinking isn’t enough. 

Understand What Really Makes You Happy.

With growing up comes a better understanding of yourself and your needs. It’s here, knowing whom you really are that you can find out what truly makes you happy.

It’s personal and could be anything from running miles over the Andes to donating a few hours per week to your local animal charity, either way you need that ‘selfish’ boost.

It will also sort out the unhappy stuff too, which will guide you through the rest of your life so you keep doing stuff that makes you happy instead of not. Making the decisions for your own life is all part of growing up and with this comes a knowing that life is pretty limitless.

In closing… act not your age but ACT YOUR EXPERIENCES! Age is nothing when you fail to take the action on those wishes, desires or dreams.


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