We can’t always skip thought our day without issues…. so why do the majority lack the skills to deal with them when they arise? Shouldn’t we educate our children on the effective management of negativity and drama? I think we should!
It isn’t the negative that becomes the issue; it is how you deal with it that should be the primary focus.
Negativity or negative thinking often accompanies and follows from significant life changes and transitions, and in most cases manifesting beyond any kind of reasoning, the small insignificant becoming a triad of major and significant – and for what purpose?
Rarely will you find one, no matter how much you want.
I’ve seen the toxic effects of negativity, seeing the best humans become shadows of their former self, due to factors they willingly accepted and inherited.
Negativity breed’s negativity, drama follows drama…you get the idea.
Negative thinking is often created by those who need attention, excitement and a purposeful meaning to their life, as I have said life is full of ups and downs and sometimes, these ups and downs are sweeping dramatic events.
The monumental times in our lives affect us deeply, often changing the way we live, think, believe and the course and direction of where we go and what we do.
For some, they see everything they do as incredibly challenging, monumental in its perceived outcome, and often fraught with catastrophic results and without reason. Some unfortunate souls will always need to turn what most of us might consider very small issues into major problems.
Making significant life changes, and leaving a wake of destruction in their path.
If this is resonating with you and you think you could be part of the problem, here are some things to think about and potentially get you out of that negative thinking state.
You’ve Heard It Before – You Become Like Those You Mix With The Most.
Start to remove yourself from environments that offer little if any positivity in your life. Sure, you will always have one negative person that you can’t get away from, but make sure that out of the ten people you mix with the most between seven and nine are positive.
If YOU have been one of the negative, you may need a little adjustment, but make the conscious effort to seek out new social settings that support the ‘you’ you want to become. It could be gym or art class, it doesn’t really matter, providing it is a positive space and breeds positivity.
Avoid thinking everyone has your best interests at heart and listening to those failing in the areas you are attempting to improve.
You get the idea. Vet your mentors.
Consider How YOU Interact With Other People.
Be fully present. Learn to listen and observe before you jump in, especially if the interaction or conversation becomes reactive and emotional. If someone is being overly dramatic, step back and distance yourself.
That could be emotionally and psychologically, or physically if need be. Don’t offer advice or solutions, especially if you haven’t been asked. Downplay the drama and try to change the course of the conversation to something neutral or positive.
If someone gets angry with you for not playing along with his or her negative life you need to be upfront and honest about how you feel. You also need to tell them how much you’re willing to do for the relationship. If that’s not good enough for them, so be it. Step away from the relationship if someone can’t accept how you feel and insists that you continue to support them in a one-sided, often dramatic and stressful relationship.
Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries.
Creating boundaries allows you to maintain control of how you relate to others. Gaining clarity about what you will do and what you won’t do helps you hold your ground and prevents you from being drawn into entering into other people’s negativity and dramas.
Establishing boundaries sends the signal to others that you have your limits about how involved you are likely to become. When you set boundaries you are better able to distance yourself from others, less likely to engage in their issues and attach to their outcome.
If you need some new strategies on how to deal with drama then why not book a one to one therapy session with me Benjamin Bonetti. More details can be found on the booking page.
Thanks for listening; there are hundreds of thousands of podcasts, articles and videos out there, and every time you share, like and subscribe, you help me help more people. For more articles remember to visit the website BenjaminBonetti.com and if you think it is time, then take advantage of the introductory sessions that can be found on the booking page.
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