WHY SABOTAGING YOUR DREAMS OFFERS A LOT MORE COMFORT ESPECIALLY DURING THE ECONOMIC COVID-19 CRISIS.

Benjamin Bonetti Therapy Online Coaching

Why Are You Restricting Your Personal Growth? 

You’ll be amazed at how many times I’ve heard from clients how they were at the edge of ‘success’ only to have reverted to past negative goals or intentions. Why they sabotaged their own dreams because it felt like the right thing to do, but couldn’t explain why. 

So why do we do this? Why do we create a pain or pleasure feeling to the ‘having’ of a future dream? Does Covid-19 mean that we should give up on our dreams? What’s the point! What’s the point of aiming towards the successes of the future, or even thinking ahead, if factors beyond our control have the ability to wipe all prospects within just a few months, just as we’ve seen this past year.

Success offers more pain FACT; not just in getting to the end but also the realisation when you achieve it that it isn’t what you expected to be true! Been to a good restaurant with rave reviews only to be disappointed? Finished a life long sporting achievement and lost as to what to do next? Got the girl or boy of your dreams only to find out they’re an arse!

Success is cruel.

Of course I’m not opting or suggesting that we should settle for a life less fruitful, one that offers little personal enjoyment at the risk of being disappointed. I am suggesting however that if you SEEK, then be prepared to experience pain in abundance.

REALITY CHECK… The vision that you’ve invested in isn’t actually what you want, it’s the associations you’ve designed (created internally) to the ‘having’.

“A means I’ll have A+”

WHAT EMOTIONAL ‘FEELINGS’ HAVE YOU ATTACHED TO THE OWNERSHIP OF THE ‘HAVING’ OF THAT SPECIFIC HAVING? 
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU MATERIALISE WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING TOWARDS.
WHAT THEN?

How to get what you want in your life? 

You already have everything you need. That’s right! Freedom? Go for a walk without guards or 10ft barbed wire fencing. Money? Go and search down the back of your sofa. Love? Visit the park and stroke a friendly dog.

You have everything you need when you LOOK hard enough. You WANT more, do not need MORE! Yes, it may not be in the form that you desire the most but this doesn’t mean that you cannot satisfy your need-to-have right now.

What you think will give you MORE of what you want, will magnify what you do not. 

FLIP IT. 

If you had everything you wanted right now, and the next level was just a fluid process a timeline of small alterations, what changes would you make right now?

WHAT DO YOU NOT HAVE RIGHT NOW?
 
IF YOU DID, WHAT WOULD YOUR LIFE LOOK LIKE?
 
WHY DO YOU WANT IT SO BADLY?
 
WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN ABOUT YOU?
 
WHEN DID YOU DECIDE THAT YOU WANTED IT?
 
WHAT WOULD BE AN IMPROVEMENT ON THAT INTENTION, ASPIRATION, AND WANT?
 
WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY NEED?
 
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WANTS AND NEEDS?
 
It is time to clear out the old beliefs and think about where those beliefs came from and how perhaps they have steered you to where you are right now.

Don’t like where you are right now? Then now couldn’t be a better time to redesign those needs and wants!

Now think about how life would have been different should you have known all that you needed and decided for yourself what to believe to be true. That’s right.

Where are you going and what do you need to do?

HOW WOULD YOUR LIFE BE DIFFERENT?
WHY WOULD YOU NOT ADOPT THIS PATH TOMORROW? 
WHAT EXCUSES DID YOU CREATE?

YOU destroy YOU. Yes it’s easy to blame others but the truth is that you have all you need to remove the control of the past.

You are not your past of the past of another projection. Read that again.

You are not your past of the past of another projection. 

Live by your values, not by those decided for you. 

If you need a kick start then why not register for a one to one session with me Benjamin Bonetti.

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