Benjamin Bonetti Therapy Online Coaching

It sounds ridiculous and I’m almost embarrassed to admit that travel at the moment is something that I think about at least ten times per day.

Racing the Engadin Ski Marathon in March specifically (now cancelled for the second year due to covid-19). 

With the World on its knees, people struggling to feed their children, immigrants attempting to cross the channel to find a better life and all I can think about is travel and the lack of extreme adventure in my life right now - how dissociated / disconnected have I become!

 We all face different struggles, relative to where we are in our life and journey. Avoid the judgement; people are not their behaviours but a by-product of their internal dialog and their journey so far.

It wasn’t that long ago that I was supporting five jobs, my young family were dependant on food parcels and I was struggling physically to cope with the pressures to better myself. I remember thinking a World beyond my struggles, at the time was unachievable based on the current circumstance – the quality of my life was shockingly poor and a challenge despite the attempt to do the best with what I had and held close.

I think if we dig deep enough within most of our journeys we can relate to parts. There are few where financial struggles, health, career or relationships will not be a consideration for deep and questioned thought and sleepless nights. 

I mention this today because there is little doubt, that shifts have happened between, what we thought to be known and certain about our future, and the ‘unknowns’ and lack of certainty which we are now faced. The stark reality is that the World will not be the same, as you once knew to be true, you cannot live therefore within the space that offers the same outcome you once held to be certain.

As I’ve said in a recent article, we need to own up to the issues and ‘real’ilty’ facing us at present and start to take the action required to limit and minimise the long-term negative consequences of ‘certain’ choices we have opted for in the past. 

  • Car on finance? NOW is the time to get rid.
  • Offered a holiday voucher? NOW is the time cash it in.
  • Should you be saving on weekly food shop or stocking up for a food shortage.
  • Relationship issues and facing another six months of lockdowns.


The more you take the action to adapt your plan, for your shifting lifestyle (encompassing all things within) the greater the reduction in the levels of anxiety that you will face.

Avoid the temptation to think that you’ll manage it when it arrives or you will cope, because you wont. Anxiety can make everyday activities the hardest to complete. From getting out of bed in the morning being a struggle to complete failure and paralysis…take the action now, you’ll thank me later.

Here are several things that you can implement right now, that will reduce anxiety levels and highlight elements that you should consider for change. 

Find someone to confide in.  

It probably is the most obvious, but speak to someone about how you are feeling and attempt to validate the reason why. This can be done in a few ways; you could speak to a family member, a friend you trust, but better yet find someone who is unlikely to ‘tell you what you want to hear’ rather someone impartial and who can offer some very honest and qualified advice.

Finances, Relationship, Career, Training & Education, Desires, Dreams, Intentions, Identity, Purpose, Passion, Love, Friendships, Family, Culture, Nutrition, Fitness and Addiction are some topics to get you started. 

A problem shared is a problem halved.

Grab a pen and paper. 

If you’re not ready to speak to somebody yet, write a letter to yourself explaining how you’re feeling and why. Be as open and truthful with yourself as you can be. Then, a few days later read it back and imagine that someone else wrote it and think about how it could be seen and adjusted to bring about a better outcome or circumstance.

Make sure that each of the elements incorporates measurable and action based elements. Better yet start a daily journal and aim to summarise each week with an intention for the following.

Mood boards.

I’ve always been sceptical about anything that sets something rigid, things do not last forever, a statement that I believe to be true for a very good reason – the world changes around you, so it would be counter productive to wish for something you once believed to be right, considering the world would have developed way beyond the context of which you saw it.

With this being said we DO need something positive to embrace, especially at the time of the pandemic.

Grab some old magazines, print out some images, stick some photos of better times… this is your vision… so let your mind run wild and push some of those boundaries.

Focus on what you do, not what you do not.

Finding something else to focus on gave me something to look forward to during those times when I had nothing. It made my day easier even when I felt incredibly low. I knew that there was something great on the horizon and despite seeming a long way off; every small step daily meant that I was gradually getting closer. 

Trust that you can’t always predict the unknowns.

If I’d suggested that there would be a global pandemic that would shut down the World just 18 months ago you’d likely have questioned my state. It is a reality that you cant horde toilet rolls for the next panic buy, save money enough for all of the financial unknowns or do enough to ensure, you are at the right health level prior to an illness.

If you are faced with some uncertainty then all is not lost, forgive yourself for the wrongs you have done and get on with making things as right as you can, given what you know to be true right now. You are the only person who knows you like you, and despite how bad things may be, small steps today really do bring about a better future.

Thank for listening; there are hundreds of thousands of podcasts, articles and videos out there and every time you share, like and subscribe you help me reach and help more people. For more articles remember to visit the website and if think it is time to work with me, then take advantage of the introductory sessions that can be found on the booking page.

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