Unearthing Your Authentic Compass: The Significance of Vision and Goals in Men's Emotional Wellbeing

Benjamin Bonetti Therapy Online Coaching

In the labyrinthine journey that is male development, navigating through the haze of societal expectations, innate tendencies, and self-constructed barriers can be daunting. Herein lies the quintessential question: How does one locate their 'True North,' a directional guide that is authentic to oneself?

To answer this query, we must delve into the realms of vision and goal-setting, two cornerstones that not only guide men but also substantially influence their emotional and mental health. By doing so, we shall find a way to strike a balance between what Carl Jung referred to as individuation, the process of becoming the person you are inherently meant to be, and the practical necessities of functioning in the society we inhabit.


For those who might find themselves struggling to come to terms with these complex aspects, seeking professional counselling can be a transformative decision.

Vision: The Imperceptible Force

Before embarking on any journey, understanding the destination is paramount. Vision provides this critical framework. Not to be confused with dreams or aspirations, which are often nebulous and mutable, a vision is a deeply internalised guiding ethos, a representation of what the most authentic version of yourself looks like.

The Neuroscience of Vision

Research in neuroscience has shown that the brain’s default mode network, which includes the medial prefrontal cortex, becomes activated when we engage in self-referential thinking. This suggests that having a clear vision helps the brain organise information in a way that promotes self-concordance, thereby enhancing mental health. The absence of a well-defined vision could inadvertently lead to cognitive dissonance, a state characterised by high levels of stress and emotional unrest.

Vision in Literature

Authors like Viktor Frankl, in his seminal work "Man's Search for Meaning," posited that vision — or the lack thereof — can be life-altering. Frankl argued that a robust vision for one's life, even under abysmal conditions, can provide the resilience needed to survive and thrive. Conversely, a lack of vision can lead to what he termed as 'existential vacuum,' a state of aimlessness that often manifests as anxiety, depression, or in extreme cases, nihilism.

Goal-Setting: The Structural Blueprint

While a vision provides the conceptual basis, goals offer the scaffolding upon which one’s vision is realised. Goals are not mere milestones; they are, in essence, the tactical elements that translate vision into reality.

Goals and Mental Health

Studies in positive psychology affirm that goal-setting has a profound impact on men's mental health. One reason is the 'goal-striving process,' where individuals engage in purposeful activities that provide a sense of accomplishment and competency. This has been directly linked to enhanced self-esteem, reduced anxiety, and greater emotional resilience. But, it’s crucial to differentiate between performance goals, typically external and dictated by societal norms, and mastery goals, which are intrinsic and aligned with one's vision. The latter has a healthier impact on mental well-being.

Struggling to distinguish between these kinds of goals? A counselling session could offer you valuable insights.

Goal-Setting Models

Models such as the SMART framework (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) have been widely acclaimed for their effectiveness. However, recent research recommends a more holistic approach known as WISE (Worthy, Inspiring, Stretching, and Energising), focusing not just on practicality but also on alignment with one's inner values, thus preventing incongruence that can lead to emotional distress.

Uniting Vision and Goals: A Synergistic Approach

Both vision and goals are crucial, yet one without the other is akin to a ship without a compass or a compass without a ship. There needs to be a harmonious amalgamation of these two elements, a feat easier said than done.

The Role of Masculine Archetypes

Drawing upon Jungian psychology, understanding the different masculine archetypes — the King, the Warrior, the Magician, and the Lover — can offer illuminating insights into aligning one’s vision and goals. For instance, the King archetype helps in formulating a just and balanced vision, whereas the Warrior aids in setting goals that require courage and discipline. Learning to integrate these archetypes allows for a more holistic approach to male development.

Engaging in counselling can be an excellent way to explore these archetypes further.


The journey towards locating one’s True North involves far more than whimsical aspirations or the blind execution of tasks. It entails a meticulously planned interaction between a soul-aligned vision and well-strategised goals. By understanding the immense implications these have on mental health, men can stride towards a future that is not only successful in the conventional sense but also fulfilling on a deeply emotional and psychological level.

In your search for an authentic life compass, remember that even the most arduous journeys begin with a single step, and it's never too late to take that step. As they say, "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now."

For personalised advice tailored to your unique situation, consider booking a counselling session.